5 Summer Reading Tips for Parents

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“Books fall open, you fall in” (David McCord)

Almost every student has a summer reading list to conquer.  Some children love summer reading and can’t wait to dive into the books. Other dread it. If your child dislikes required reading, I have five tips for you:

  1. Start early and space reading out over the next few weeks. Plan a related reward for each book.
  2. Is there an assignment to complete after the book? Find the directions and make sure she understands what to do before reading. That way, she can pick up cues as she reads. (Even better: Ask her to find the directions and read them aloud to you.)
  3. Create a routine and a comfortable place to read. In a treehouse? By the pool? Tucked away on the porch with lemonade and cookies?
  4.  If a book is challenging, have everyone in the family read the same book, together or separately.  Invite grandparents to read it, too. Then talk about it over a book dinner.
  5. Complete the assignment right after reading is finished and keep it out where your child can see it.  She’ll use it in the following days to remember what the book is about.

Everyone responds to praise and don’t be afraid of using it abundantly while helping a child complete a summer project, a difficult book, or many books!  It boosts your child’s confidence when you compliment her thoughtfully and often.  Two suggestions:

  •  “Emily, I’m proud of you for sticking with that book. Doesn’t it feel good to accomplish something difficult?”
  •   “Luis, I love to see you disappear into a book.  I can see your mind learning new things when you read.”

Let me know how any of these work for you.

Stargazing, Jupiter, Parents and Kids

Gazing at the night sky is one of the pleasures of summer. The best place to view it is somewhere away from city lights or the yellow-y glow from shopping centers. The darker and clearer the sky, the better.

Toward the end of this month, you’ll see five planets in the sky, including Jupiter, where the exploratory spacecraft Juno, after its five-year journey, is gathering information we’ve never had before.  Here’s a video from NASA that explains Juno and Jupiter:

It’s difficult for most of us to comprehend Juno’s 540,000,000 mile trip to Juniper, or even a five-year journey in a vehicle. Our journey to explore the universe is a marvel of humankind’s collective curiosity and imagination.

The important thing to do, though, is to revel in the wonder of space, to let your imagination tumble around ideas and questions. When you talk with your child about big ideas, no answers are right or wrong. It’s the open exchange of ideas–and growing closer–that matters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The “Sloppy Copy” That Changed History

School kids learn that the first draft of writing is considered the “sloppy copy.” Rereading and revision is the writing process they are taught to use and it’s a good one. This summer you may see it, especially if a piece of writing is due on the first day of school.

This Fourth of July, tell your child about how thirty-three year old Thomas Jefferson authored the “sloppy copy” of the Declaration of Independence.  It was only after John Adams and Benjamin Franklin suggested revisions that one of our founding documents was ready to change the course of history.

Here’s one view of the Declaration of Independence in it’s “sloppy” form.

DEC. OF INDEP. 1

DEC. OF INDEP. 1

Image courtesy of the Library of Congress, loc.gov

Parenting Teens and Saying “No”

The summer my fifteen-year-old daughter started her first camp job, she stepped into a fun, cohesive social scene with other teens, college students, and twenty-somethings. The kids hung out after camp, sometimes walking to a nearby ice cream shop.

It wasn’t long before the older kids organized a Saturday night party. She was thrilled to be invited. I knew that parents wouldn’t be present, that kids would drink, do drugs, and a fifteen-year-old girl would be vulnerable.lights-party-dancing-music

Not that I suspected my daughter would drink, or worse. She was a strong, smart person, who made excellent decisions. But it was our job as parents to assure her safety and set boundaries appropriate for her age.

It’s easy to write a sentence about it.  It’s a gigantic job to carry out.

“Fifteen-year-olds do not belong at parties with kids in their twenties,” I said, explaining why.

My daughter emphatically disagreed. She didn’t care that there’d be other parties, she wanted this one.  We were rewarded with a few days of pleading, pushing, arguing, bargaining,  She wanted to belong, I know.

Setting boundaries with teens requires parental fortitude and consistency.  Although it’s easier to give in–after all, what’s the big deal about one party, she’ll be fine–teens need to know we’re on their side, even when it’s not what they want to hear. It’s our job to teach them and not give up.

I think that saying “no” as a parent is very hard.  Many times while parenting teenagers, it’s hard to know what to do.  Teenagers are separating, growing brains and bodies, and their development is supercharged and fast paced.

That’s why teenagers aren’t always accurate in predicting safety.  We parents need to step up and do the tough work of “no,” even when it’s easier to give in, and hope for the best.

 

 

 

Flag Day’s Star-Spangled Banner

What do you remember about Flag Day celebrations (June 14) when you were in school?  You probably participated in a ceremony at the school flagpole.  Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts wore their uniforms on that day, and the Boy Scouts usually performed the honor of raising the flag.  This ceremony often included singing the Star-Spangled Banner.

If Flag Day fell on a weekend one of my grandfathers, a WWI veteran, made a solemn ceremony of putting out his flag.  During this task his attitude receded into silence and duty, which impressed me. We’d climb the stairs to the landing just before the third floor, where he’d lean out the window to attach the flag to the pulley.  The sound of the metal flag grommets clanking against the pole made a memorable sound to me.

In addition to Flag Day ceremonies, we school kids were drilled in the lyrics to the Star-Spangled Banner.  I’m not an educator who favors drilling to learn, but memorization has its place.

When you and your child put out your flag on Flag Day, see if you both know the words to the Star-Spangled Banner, written in 1814 by Washington, D.C., attorney and poet Francis Scott Key.

Thanks to the Maryland Historical Society Collection, all four verses of our national anthem are here.

Living History

Today we’re living history.  We have the first woman with enough votes to become a nominee for president of the United States.

It doesn’t matter what your party affiliation is, or if you support Secretary Hillary Clinton or not.  What matters is that you talk with your children about the significance of this achievement, because they are living history, too.

wavy-american-flagWe stand on the shoulders of giants in this moment.  Sarah Grimké, Angelina Grimké,  Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Alice Paul, Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, Bella Abzug, and many others who fought–and took plenty of abuse for it–so women could vote, get birth control, own property, and keep their last names.

Today these things might seem quaint, even distant or irrelevant.  But until we see 51% of top management jobs are held by women, that 51% of board positions are held by women, and that women earn equal pay for equal work, we need to recognize the huge achievement of Hillary Clinton. It’s another step forward.

And if she makes it to the White House, she’ll be making the same salary as the previous two men, $400,000 a year.

 

 

 

 

A Robin in the Wreath

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According to AllAboutBirds.org, only 40% of nests successfully produce young.

Sometimes, you just have to take a breath and look at the world. Or, out your front door and onto a wreath, where a robin built a perfect nest.

For at least the last three weeks, I’ve been hosting a new family of robins.  It was pure magic to see the mother twist the last pieces of grass in place.  When she sat, I began a log.  After she laid her fourth and final egg, I began counting the days.  On day 12, the eggs hatched.

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Now we are two.

Along the way, I invited my friend, Eric, over for a look. As his father lifted him up, Eric looked at the eggs and said, “Wooooowww!” as only a four-year-old can.

Every guest or family member who visited expressed the same wonder.

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The quartet, eyes still closed.

No one rushed to Google “robin” on their phones. Instead, there were conversations about the nest, the occupants, their growth, the male and female robins. Our front porch became off limits to the usual foot traffic. Even the drop-off dry cleaning man got into the spirit, and suggested another place to hang his deliveries.

Looking like teenagers--a little gawky, very hungry, here and there a flap of the wings.

Looking like teenagers–a little gawky, very hungry, here and there a flap of the wings.

It’s learning opportunities like this one for which we parents need to keep watch. Teaching kids of all ages to respond to the natural world is extra special when a parent models that behavior. Also, learning at home never requires a workbook.  Birds’ nests are wonderful parent resources for wonder and curiosity.

Finally, I’m reminded that some of our youngest children are never afraid of wondering. To quote four-year-old Eric, “Wooooowww!

 

 

3 Survival Tips for Parents & School Projects

dreamstimefree_259944Your son Aaron has had a good year with Ms. Kelly. At the last conference, the only concern she repeated was that he needed to get his work done on time. This was not news to you. You’re always working on it with him and it’s excruciatingly painful.

Yet here you are at his soccer game and overhear someone complain about the science fair project due Friday. “Weren’t those directions confusing?” and “What is your kid doing her project on?”

In the car, you say, “Aaron, do you have a science project due this week?” Yes, he says, but he lost the directions. Or they’re in his desk at school, he thinks. You buzz over to the school and get the custodian to open the classroom. Aaron finds them and you read them. An experiment? Research? Poster board? Argh!

While dashing to Staples for the tri-fold board, you try not to explode. “Haven’t we talked about procrastination, Aaron? Letting us know ahead of time that you have a project due?” Aaron is nowhere near as stressed as you are. You try again. “How can you do your best science project at this late date?”

Some reassurance for you–we teachers have seen this happen hundreds of times. It’s how some kids learn. Here are three tips I can offer you:

  1. Let Aaron do the work. You create the environment and then let go. Teachers want to see Aaron’s work, not yours.  We can tell immediately if a parent did the work.
  2. Clear Aaron’s schedule, even it if means missing a sports practice.  If there are penalties, well, that’s another lesson learned.
  3. If his finished project is less than stellar, send it to school anyway.

Try to keep your tone matter-of-fact throughout the ordeal. All of this is very tough stuff to do because not helping sounds harsh.

But look closer and you’ll see that it’s showing love. By remembering this, you let Aaron grow and learn.

Parents and Backyard Science

When I visit my father, I like to tell him about the wildlife I’ve seen in our yard. “Heard the coyotes last night,”  and he smiles upon hearing this. “This is a picture of the robin’s nest on our front door wreath” makes him shake his head in wonder.  “A little snake ran over my bare feet” prompts him to ask, “What did you do?” “Nothing–it was exciting!” I said.

He and I have broadened our conversations to include other wildlife.  Bluebirds. Bald eagles.  Red-shouldered hawks. A Cooper’s hawk holding its prey. Today I plan to tell him about the latest bobcat visit to our yard, and that the robin has laid two eggs.

As you can see, backyard science is for every generation.

When our children were young, I showed them how to listen for peepers in the early spring.  (If you live in the central or eastern United States and Canada, you know this magical sound that rings in spring.)  They learned to ask questions and find answers, used their imagination to think up answers, and discovered the peepers’ habitats.  Soon this became an annual home science experiment.

All of this noticing connects directly to what a child learns in school. Observing, listening, wondering, and critical thinking are some of the greatest skills you can help your child develop in relaxed, natural, disconnected-to-a-device ways.

One of the best parenting tips I know is to show your child how to notice things in the natural world.  Even if you’ve never done it yourself, it’s a beautiful and rewarding experience to share.

 

 

Children and Zilpha Keatley Snyder

Don’t you love it when your child plays with others and uses her imagination and creativity to act out stories?VG.peasant-woman

Then you must read aloud one of Zilpha Keatley Snyder’s excellent books. They mix fantasy, adventure, mystery, and magical thinking in a way that children respond to.

A person’s imagination is not an isolated ability.  It needs to be fed, stoked, and given time and space to develop.  When we do this with our children, we’re helping them learn problem solving, thinking, and social skills.

There are two of Zilpha Keatley Snyder’s book that I recommend.  One is The Velvet Room–a girl explores an old, abandoned house and discovers a room full of books surrounded by velvet drapes that becomes a special space to her. When I read it, I remember the feeling of becoming the character and thinking about solving the problems.Book_egy_2007

The other is The Egypt Game, a Newbury Honor Book.  If your child likes to read about Egypt, or is drawn to Egyptian relics, this is the way to explore it.  The Egypt Game is used in lots of schools today to teach about Egypt through a child who discovers an artifact, and draws her friends into a magical game about Egypt.

In my next post, I’ll say more about how to bring special book experiences to your child.