If your children are lucky enough to enjoy life with a Yorkshire terrier, you’ll recognize our Teddy.
Happy. Self-confident. Highly intelligent. Persistent. Protective. Noisy. Wags a lot.
Barks at perceived intruders. Monitors the yard for mourning doves, squirrels, rabbits, or anything masquerading as such. Rages at roaming cats.
Loves car rides. Sits in his car seat for the sheer pleasure of it. Backseat driver. Announces trucks, motorcycles, scooters, baby carriages, runners, bicycles, and cars with other dogs.
Unafraid of any other animal. Bosses larger dogs with ease.
Follows directions that fit with his agenda. Chooses softest seating for himself.
Bounces back after day surgery. Turns neck doughnut into fashion statement.
Helped to raise our family with a sense of humor and unlimited tolerance for snuggling.
In the last post, I gave you a good framework to use when addressing back talk with your child. The last step to take is moving on, bringing her back into the family’s tasks and rhythms.
Of course, neither you nor your daughter may feel like falling into each other’s arms at this point.
That’s okay. By moving on, you demonstrate a powerful love and respect for her. I know you will do better the next time. I love you and will stick by you no matter what. I am here to help you even when the going’s tough.
A child’s development is rarely linear. There are not neat stages through which children pass, with infallible instructions for each. Growth is arduous and messy, trial and error, and many times the path is bumpy and rough.
Be proud of how you are raising your children to be thoughtful, thinkers in our world.
Do you ever say to your child, “I wasn’t good at math, either,” followed by “I’m more of a English (or other topic) person.”
Pardon the caps while I write, “STOP SAYING THAT!”
I know you’re probably trying to show sympathy as your child puzzles through math homework. Or trying to be honest. Or sharing that they’re not alone. Or trying to show that you, an important adult in their life, confronted challenges just as they are doing.
Today, we know more about math learning and the kind of encouragement that helps children:
- “I know you’re doing your best.”
- “Did you call one of your friends (or five or six of them) for help?
- “I’ll listen while you read the directions aloud.”
- “What does Mrs.—want you to do when you’re stuck?”
Also, if you are able to take apart a problem and help your child understand it, by all means do so. That can be a great strategy if you are able to teach them, not tell them.
Finally, tell your child to ask the teacher what to do the next time they need help with math homework. We parents want our children to feel confident about asking for help whenever they need it.