In the last post, I gave you a good framework to use when addressing back talk with your child. The last step to take is moving on, bringing her back into the family’s tasks and rhythms.
Of course, neither you nor your daughter may feel like falling into each other’s arms at this point.
That’s okay. By moving on, you demonstrate a powerful love and respect for her. I know you will do better the next time. I love you and will stick by you no matter what. I am here to help you even when the going’s tough.
A child’s development is rarely linear. There are not neat stages through which children pass, with infallible instructions for each. Growth is arduous and messy, trial and error, and many times the path is bumpy and rough.
Be proud of how you are raising your children to be thoughtful, thinkers in our world.
A father with two little girls approached me at a school picnic. He explained that his daughters were new students, and that the older one, Maria, was a bit worried about starting a new school.
“Say hello to Dr. Nollet,” he said to Maria.
Maria stepped forward and stuck out her hand.
“Hi, Dr. Nollet,” she said. “My name is Maria,” She made eye contact, her grasp was firm, she stood straight. A smile transformed her face.
The father said that teaching his children to look someone in the eye and shake hands properly was important to him. He’d been working on this discipline since they were preschoolers.
“I tell them anywhere they go in life, no matter what they become, it is important they greet people with a proper handshake and eye contact.”
When we discipline children, we’re instructing them. When we teach or discipline with respect, we teach respect for the other.
Positive discipline is effective discipline because it’s light-handed, substantive, and guides through practice. It lifts children up instead of putting them down while preparing them for life.
Here’s a wonderful video about mentors teaching children to handshake: